Miss Powers

Mandy Powers, the drunk of all dancers!! She cannot seem to go one night without drinking herself into a hole, wasting people money when they buy her drinks but is so drunk she forgot she left them with the bartender. She has a nice personality when she is sober but after one drink she is annoying as hell. When she starts to dance you may notice she looks 5 or 6 months pregnant. Nobody has asked her about this issue but it is very unattractive you see. And if she is pregnant, well someone better call child services now before the baby gets alcohol poisoning in the womb.

Rating!

Dance Ability                                   8

Sexiness                                         4

Floor Work                                      3

Pole Work                                       3

Crowd Involvement                          4

Personality                                      2

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Trampede!

Well she started her career at the Calgary Stampede where miss Alexis Frulling also known as Trampede had some fun with her boyfriend and another random guy. After receiving a lot of terrible reviews she eventually found her calling for the Stripper Pole, but that didn’t stop her from being a nasty girl & a terrible dancer. She sleeps with Dj's and those who tip the most get the most “fun.” Now don’t forget about her disgusting boyfriend, the guy uses her for her money and isn’t nice to the clubs she goes to. What a nice surprise when they boyfriend of a dancer starts a fight while his girl is on stage.

Rating!

Dance Ability                                  -2

Sexiness                                         2

Floor Work                                      2

Pole Work                                       1

Crowd Involvement                          4

Personality                                      4

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To be a hooker or not to be.

This next wonderful piece of work does more than just dancing. She acts as if she is a Vegas show girl but really she is far less than such. She walks around the stage and twirls around a couple times, never really dances, works with the pole, or does any floor work. She is chubby and not hot to be honest and likes to take guys up to her room for a little extra money. She was once banned from certain clubs because this became very obvious and a big issue. If you want to be a hooker fine, but don’t do it in the obvious places.

The worst part is , she calls herself Bambi, yes like the Disney character. Who the hell does that? Takes a KIDS character and names herself after it.

Rating!

Dance Ability                                   2

Sexiness                                         1

Floor Work                                      1

Pole Work                                       1

Crowd Involvement                          3

Personality                                      2

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Crushing bones with muscle!

Madison Moore, more like Madison you need Less steroids!

The girl can’t one say without working out and it shows. She may look good in the gym doing that but when she gets naked she has a protruding stomach, and ungodly large thighs, and boy are they muscular but not attractive. Unless you are a submissive dude you may want to run because the girl could crush your skull between her thighs. If you don’t have the looks at least have the dance ability, which she also does not have. Though she is wonderful to talk to, her looks do not match.

Rating!

Dance Ability                                   4

Sexiness                                         2

Floor Work                                      6

Pole Work                                       2

Crowd Involvement                          6

Personality                                      7

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Nikki not so Darling

Which guys are interested in girls caked in makeup? If you are this is the girl for you Nikki Darling, the fake, the bitchy, and the stupid, all in one!! Do I need say more? If anyone has a chisel maybe we can scrap some of the fake off of her! If any women feels more attractive when you can’t see any of your natural skin tone on your face, well you need help. She also may need a dictionary since she can’t hold a conversation with ANYONE!

Rating!

Dance Ability                                   3

Sexiness                                         1

Floor Work                                      4

Pole Work                                       4

Crowd Involvement                          3

Personality                                      2


P.S. She really will do anything for pizza #pizzaslut

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Miss Slutty

Miss Nikki or Miss Slutty, you choose! Blonde Miss Nikki can’t seem to keep her lags closed when she gets off stage, sleeping with DJ’s all over BC and AB. We are all curious if she has given or caught. She spoke to a friend of mine and a young DJ somewhere near Kelowna had apparently given her something. Not entirely sure what but she was not happy to have caught it.

Rating!

Dance Ability                                   6

Sexiness                                         6

Floor Work                                      5

Pole Work                                       3

Crowd Involvement                          5

Personality                                      7

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Legally Blonde!

Suka the blonde bimbo, now Suka will complain and cry when she doesn’t have a decent day working or when people don’t like her. No need to tip her, just give her tissues to wipe her poor tears. Since she was last seen I heard she was still blonde but nobody I have talked to really knows if she is or not. Like some girls she does the same routine every show, using the same music almost each set she does. You have to be more than thin to make yourself a great dancer!

Rating!

Dance Ability                                   3

Sexiness                                         5

Floor Work                                      2

Pole Work                                       4

Crowd Involvement                          4

Personality                                      3

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The Gunn you should never go near.

The real bitch of the group is Gattlynn Gunn, she gets fired from clubs on day one for trash talking her place of work, as well as the other clubs she has worked at!! When clubs call the agency having to explain that you got fired for being a true bitch to the people paying you does not go over well I’m sure. She may be nice to look at but under that caked on makeup you may want to hide. It is a very scary thought. I can’t give her a rating other than her personality since no one ever sees her dance.

Rating!

Personality                                      1

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Single mom Synclair

Angel Synclair, the dancer who can’t keep both her nipples hard. She for sure has a boob job and it by no means looks natural. She is in her late 30’s atleast and has to continually play with her nipples to keep them pretty looking. Personality wise she is great, but boy she isn’t pretty.

She looks like a single mom of 3 kids who can’t pay to feed her kids so she dances to keep them off the street, from what I’ve heard if you try and give her food or put it on stage she is less than thankful for it. Either that or she was a school teacher who had one hell of a bad mid life crisis!!

Rating!

Dance Ability                                   6

Sexiness                                         1

Floor Work                                      2

Pole Work                                       4

Crowd Involvement                          4

Personality                                      6

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The Cruz you never want to be on!

Miss Savannah Cruz, well she is for sure one of the most graphic dancers I have seen, like to yell on stage, flash her vagina while walking around on the floor, and drinks a hell of a lot of tequila. One club I know of in AB had to bring in an extra order of tequila because she drinks so much of it over the week she is there.

Not to mention her promo photos are really old, when she was thin, and pretty. Since then she has gained weight, her costumes are really tight, and she looks pretty old.  From what I heard that’s why she is on her third marriage.

Rating!

Dance Ability                                   5

Sexiness                                         2

Floor Work                                      4

Pole Work                                       3

Crowd Involvement                          6

Personality                                      4

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stripperbash101@gmail.com

Don't eat your name!

So a friend and I had a nice sit down conversation about strippers, and some of the girls. The first girl that came to mind when he said not all were smart was Kit Kat. Not sure where she is originally from but damn does she have nothing but air up there. Nice to look at if you don't mind a little extra icing on the oreo. Even her voice makes her sound dumb, she should really try and get a teacher to show her how not to be a dumbass. No wonder she ended up taking her clothes off for money!!!

Rating!
Dance Ability                                   6
Sexiness                                         4
Floor Work                                      5
Pole Work                                       7.5
Crowd Involvement                          7
Personality                                      2.5



Email us to tell us your stripper story, rating, and rants!!


stripperbash101@gmail.com